Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
