He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
they call him Oral-B. enough said
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Randomize
