WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
