Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
only if we run a train.
done.
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low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
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Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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