low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
