glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize