i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
