I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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