You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
