end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
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