So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
