I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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