i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
