Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i was born a porn star she said
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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