Please, let me fuck your mom
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.