Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

It's always exciting to touch a new boob.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.

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(613): View more from Ontario

She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.

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(916): View more from California

craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

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(702): View more from Nevada

The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves

(806): View more from Texas

That's not technology. Doesn't count.

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(240): View more from Maryland

He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.

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(850): View more from Florida

Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.

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