Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Please, let me fuck your mom

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(+54): View more from

My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(989): View more from Michigan

apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.

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(213): View more from California

She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.

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(440): View more from Ohio

They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.

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