You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize