I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
