Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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