There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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