she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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