absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
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THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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