You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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