I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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