did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
