At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else