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Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
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