btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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