dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..