Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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