Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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