As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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