At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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