this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
