The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I sprained my soul last night
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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