the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
