Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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