You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
