my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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