Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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