Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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