just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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