And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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