Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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