His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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