Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
