Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.