Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  These are the tickets we got last night.

  (361): View more from Texas

  Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Yes...yes you did.

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  (361): What are these yellow papers in the kitchen? (1-361): These are the tickets we got last night. (361): Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear? (1-361): Yes...yes you did. http://tfl.nu/myva
  Replies (25) Good night (4328) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom

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  (847): she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/dcxm
  Replies (26) Good night (783) Bad night (4464)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"

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  (508): Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic" http://tfl.nu/1wpy
  Replies (30) Good night (2440) Bad night (3053)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.

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  (203): she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever. http://tfl.nu/jt2o
  Replies (8) Good night (6684) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.

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  (+44): She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me. http://tfl.nu/nryr
  Replies (6) Good night (2041) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?

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  (216): I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america? http://tfl.nu/75bl
  Replies (3) Good night (2531) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.

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  (503): I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken. http://tfl.nu/j72e
  Replies (6) Good night (827) Bad night (1608)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.

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  (619): He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one. http://tfl.nu/6tfs
  Replies (6) Good night (2995) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina

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  (407): So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina http://tfl.nu/bjxi
  Replies (22) Good night (867) Bad night (2199)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.

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  (779): I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/p354
  Replies (13) Good night (1977) Bad night (1472)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  you are never too drunk for berry picking

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  (254): you are never too drunk for berry picking http://tfl.nu/1gaj
  Replies (7) Good night (1492) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept

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  (702): He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept http://tfl.nu/07xi
  Replies (5) Good night (463) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.

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  (403): The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her. http://tfl.nu/lviw
  Replies (5) Good night (2105) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?

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  (+44): What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles? http://tfl.nu/033m
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence

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  (408): that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence http://tfl.nu/qpf7
  Replies (5) Good night (575) Bad night (264)

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