Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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