Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
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I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
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State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.