my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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