I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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