I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
