people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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