Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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