And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He passed out mid-signature
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
