Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
