I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Panties = found
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