i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
