FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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