the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she peed on how many people?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
