With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize