i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize