i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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