my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
