rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
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Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
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I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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