This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
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that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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