none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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