On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
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I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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