And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
