I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My ass is underappreciated
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
