1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
