If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
