you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
