your thong is hanging out like whoa
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
